Monday, March 13, 2006

Pete and Repeat

I'm starting over with this blog, so some things might not make a whole lot of sense for a while here. As I cover topics I've already done, I'll delete the old ones...

From just after the twinkle, here's the story of Jairus.

It took a painfully long time to get pregnant. For a while there, I was close to giving up. I know our two years is nothing compared to alot of couples out there, but it was painful none the less. We finally went for the drugs and thankfully, it took only a month.

Of course, I was horribly nervous for those first 12 weeks. That's the biggest problem with knowing you're pregnant practically as soon as conception has occurred--it's an awful long time to wait until the nerves settle down. Fortunately, it was an uneventful 12 weeks. Sometimes I even wondered if I really was pregnant! I didn't have to wear maternity clothes until I was well into my sixth month--and then it was quite a sudden thing. One day, I just couldn't see my feet.

Before this though, disturbing things began cropping up. It started with my ultrasound. How exciting, the first ultrasound of the first pregnancy. Until they call you and tell you it should be redone.
I went with a midwife, a wonderful young woman named Tamara from Hamilton. Unfortunately, it wasn't her that called with this news, but my secondary midwife whom I barely knew. From the moment I got off the phone, the questions assaulted and I was a wreck for the rest of the day. Finally, around 10pm that night, I called her back to ask some of the questions and settle my mind. She assured me that this was pretty common, nothing serious was wrong, and I didn't have to have this redone if I didn't want to.

I decided not too. The ultrasound hadn't been as easy as I thought it would, and really, I didn't want to go through it again. It was scheduled, but I wasn't going to be there.

The day of the rescheduled ultrasound, I had an appointment with the secondary midwife. She asked me if I had gone for it and I told her that it was that afternoon, but I wouldn't be going. She looked uncomfortable and pulled out a manilla file. She opened it and held it out to me.

"Perhaps you should look at what it says", she hedged.

I took a look. Out jumped a terrifying word:


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